Are You Ready For Marriage?

Are you and your partner marriage material? 10 signs to tell for sure.
You've found a great guy and you're pretty sure that he's the one. How do you know if you're right? We got therapist Marisa Peer to dish out ten vital signs that you and your partner are good marriage material. If you tick all of these boxes, congratulations: Your relationship has a great foundation for a happy and successful marriage.

1. You can envision spending the rest of your lives together

Do you see your relationship standing the test of time? Do you look forward to spending the rest of your lives together? Only if the answer is a definite yes will your marriage have a solid basis to work with, says Peer.

2. You have similar goals and core values

Are you on the same page when it comes to the important issues in life, whether it's about money, children, work or sex? Ideally, your core values should be as similar as possible. "This will make your relationship go the distance as you will argue less."

3. You've been dating for a good length of time

How long you're together before getting engaged can make a difference. When it comes to dating, two years is about right, says Peer. "By then, you have seen and accepted your partner's flaws and are ready to move to the next step."

4. Your connection isn't purely physical

You regard him as your closest confidant, too. "Being best friends and respecting the other person is much more enduring than being in lust," she says. "You must have both best friend chemistry and sexual chemistry -- one of the two is not enough."

5. You fight right

Fights are inevitable; it's how you handle them that matters. "If you hit below the belt, use contempt, scorn, mockery and name calling, keep bringing up the past or are a blamer or an accuser, your relationship will not work," says Peer. If you are willing to hear each other out and come to a compromise, you're on a much better footing.

6. You treat each other as your equal

Making your partner's feelings and needs as important as your own means that you are ready to move from "I" to "we".

7. You can afford it

"Couples fight more about money than anything else," explains Peer. That's why it's so important to ensure that your general finances are in a good state before you even contemplate marriage. Big debts should be paid off before the wedding so that you're going into the marriage on an even financial keel.

8. You trust each other

Mutual trust is vital in a long term relationship, so much so that Peer sees this as a make-or-break. "If you don't trust your partner, you should absolutely not be getting married to them."

9. You're willing to give and take

"Marriage is all about compromise. If you are not willing to do this, you don't love your partner enough."

10. You're not just dreaming of a big white wedding

What makes you most excited about the prospect of getting married? Are you caught up in the wedding itself or are you much more focused on the future life together? If it's not the latter, you are going into the union with the wrong priority.

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